Friday, October 23, 2009

Whack, Son! What's happening?


So, where might a lonely, reclusive north, east Floridian find a place to unleash an epidemic of boredom and negativity? How abouts' the ole’ internet? Fuck, blogs are so cool, because, shit, I can break balls for hours without even coming face to face with those responsible for the content I base my week on reputing. And, holy hell, there has been a barrage of events to hate, flooding this up-and-coming city on the east coast. But wait, what if this train, which my ego so relies on, runs out of unleaded cool? Will my fresh, comment-driven bridge to the actual, social world collapse? What if I were to succumb to embracing the lost practice of personal interaction? Gosh, I might have to take some speech classes to catch up on my social skills. But that might not go towards my degree. Damn, maybe I should talk to my folks to see if they can advise me on a plan-of-action, regarding my dilemma. But Fruit Cove is a long drive. God, I hate bicycles and typing all this anti-anti, pseudo-hip rhetoric really does make my fingers ache. How did Mark Twain ever make such affectively relevant gestures? I wish I could fish a good video from Youtube to illustrate this point; unfortunately, my parents stopped paying for my Comcast. Pricks! What was I trying to say? Oh yeah, Jacksonville “happenings” are doing just that this weekend, yet there aren’t enough negative words in my college dictionary to describe them, so I may have to break it down in a different tone. Uhhhhhhhhhh….
So, this weekend, Saturday to be exact, is this months Infintesmal BBQ, taking place at the newest spot to catch a show. It may seem like a drive from the usual low-lit, recreations of British taverns, but it serves the same purpose, but without the free peanuts. The Devil’s Playground: not the book, movie, song, blog site, or album you’ve never listened to, but the venue will act as the host of Infintesmal Record’s “Better Jacksonville Plan” compilation release party. If you haven’t been privy to the Jacksonville music scene in the past year, then you may find something new; otherwise, this event may just act as a party for everyone who’s put some hard work into, or maybe just been a supporter of what’s been going on recently.
The Devil’s Playground, located at 1850 Wambolt St., unit 6, will be the curator for a slew of bands performing to represent the compilation, as mentioned earlier. In the future, it will play the role of a multi-functioning art space, meant to hold more shows, art galleries, and may act as just a general party spot; the aspect of this warehouse of fun that sets it apart from any house, loft, or bar that compiles such an onslaught of activity is its location: the industrious area where enthusiasts will find The Devil’s Playground provides a location secluded enough to ward off cops, but convenient enough as to draw a crowd. So, check it out on Saturday, October 24.
Fuck! Just as David Banner can’t contain his massively green, anger-boner, my generous tone can’t last forever. This shit is whack, son. I guess it’s back to blogging about everything I hate; or maybe I’ll just raid my mom’s fridge.

By John Touchton

5 comments:

Jack on October 23, 2009 at 1:20 PM said...

I am in no way way affiliated with Whacksonville. However, they at least understand satire. You may have even read some good stuff considering your Mark Twain name drop. Sometimes opinions need to be "anti" so that this suburban sprawl masquerading as city can figure out what it's doing incorrectly.

I suggest sticking to promoting a desperate and pathetic social scene. Perhaps, you can even charm the GED-certified girl in the corner with your poor writing skills. Lastly, once again: Please lay off the satire until you become a better writer and smarter. Good luck.

jaxscene on October 23, 2009 at 3:25 PM said...

but my mom told me i right good.

John Touchton on October 24, 2009 at 11:00 AM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ryan on October 25, 2009 at 8:59 PM said...

I think its done with satire.

its obvious who whacksonville promotes and who they make fun of.

of course you've got no problem jack as you've never been at the butt end of their jokes.

if it were satire, your precious projects, burro bags, zombie bikes, etc. places would get equal mockery.

instead it seems a lot of it is against tsi-like goers, and weirdly a lot of making fun of women (the whole carnie post, bit on the art show as an immortaity project?, and renaissance)

I admit I liked it in the beginning, but good satire doesn't last I guess.

Basically John, thanks for this post.

jackdiablo on October 26, 2009 at 11:00 AM said...

now see here ryan, that jack up there ain't me. jack diablo always posts as jackdiablo. i like what john writes here and i also like whacksonville. and if YOU actually read it you would see that they do make fun of zombie bikes bikes club on the reg. but i think it's funny.

besides, it would be pretty stupid for me to hate on john for pumping up an event at my warehouse.

or would it?

but seriously, i ain't that jack.

Back the f up see more homie
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